Thoughts on breaking up

Last week I wasn’t able to write a sin­gle thing for this diary. While I did my best to keep a day-to-day one page diary, writ­ing some­thing longer was beyond my con­trol. Because last week I lost some­one very dear to me for rea­sons I still don’t under­stand and with­out being able to do a sin­gle thing to avoid it. Thus break­ing mul­ti­ple promis­es I did to myself for this begin­ning of year.

 

Learning to say no

It’s fun­ny how this sim­ple thing has elud­ed me for so many years (and still eludes me from time to time). Something as sim­ple as say­ing “no”,“I won’t”, “I can’t”. I’ve spent so many years run­ning after time, say­ing yes all the time, abid­ing to things I didn’t want to do, invest­ing ener­gy I didn’t have, forc­ing myself to be some­one I wasn’t or to do things that only pulled me down fur­ther.

 

A better version of me

2016 was quite a roller­coast­er year on many parts. I’m grate­ful for sev­er­al things that hap­pened in my life, but I must admit that I let myself slip quite a bit while enjoy­ing only the good things with­out tak­ing some time to keep on improv­ing myself. While in 2015 I suc­ceed­ed at los­ing a lot of weight and estab­lish a dai­ly rou­tine, I let myself slip dur­ing 2016, some­thing I want­ed to get back on.

 

There and back again

So I’ve set up this blog again. Which might seems strange look­ing at how many times I’ve blogged, removed, blogged again, removed, … with­out find­ing any way to real­ly ”get it”. Most of it had to do with the divi­sion between my pro­fes­sion­al and per­son­al life that hap­pened in the past, search­ing my way wasn’t easy so I went here and there.